Hi, my name is Donna, Ive posted before.
I have been married 16 years in April. My husband has been using cocaine for 25 years. He is a binger. He sometimes goes 2 weeks without a binge, but the last 4 months he has been bingeing every week. I cannot begin to tell you the heartache this is causing me. Even though he is not taking daily, it feels like i am loosing him. His personality changes somewhat, he becomes cold, distant, uncaring. I cant reach him. I am seriously considering leaving him. I have seen a divorce lawyer. I really love this man but he isnt going to change – i just have to accept that i cant do anymore. He has had two affairs, been to prison 3 times and is when on a come down is verbally abusive to me. When he is ‘On one’ as he calls it, he wont answer my calls or respond to my text messages. I feel alone, unloved, devastated. I wish i could just stop loving him and get the hell out