I wish I had advice to give but I understand how you feel, I’ve been with my husband 25 years the last 6 his coke habit has destroyed everything we had he looks at me and sees guilt but he doesn’t want guilt so every insult is said to me, he has to defend his coke as that is his everything now.. but I’m on a short fuse now and it’s me that leaves with nothing his parents bailed him out after me with debts he signed our home away so look after you think of you