[anna123]

Hey, I’m really new to this. It’s taken me a long time to reach out for some help or even accept the fact that I’m struggling. I moved in with my Dad in April this year and I always knew he was a big drinker but it’s literally much worse than I’d ever imagined. He is always at the pub, he’s never home. He doesn’t eat properly, if he does it’s a microwave meal or takeaway and I just feel that he is slowly drifting away. He’s in such a spiral with his drinking that I don’t know how to cope. He just drinks til he can’t anymore, he doesn’t spend time with me or my brother, we literally have to go to the pub to see him and even when we do, he seems so disinterested in the fact we’re there. I dealt with my Mum being a heavy drinker/alcohol dependant for majority of my life and she has now given up so I know how much it destroys your life. Its actually making me physically ill to think that my Dad is doing this to himself? I don’t understand why you would want to inflict this on your body. I’m getting married next year and he’s walking me down the aisle but the rate he’s going, will he be able to? Will his body continue to take the abuse? I feel like I just needed to vent because it’s been locked up in my brain for so long.

[bt1978]

Hey

Thanks for posting.

Growing up with parents who have a drink problem is tough. Unless you have a dependency on alcohol it’s very unlikely you would understand why people behave like this, and why drink comes above anything else and nor should you either.

It’s easy to say to people in the situation you are in that it isn’t your problem, but the fact is it is. You want your dad to be there, to be interested, to participate in your life and to be a parent to you.

Before anything else there are two things

One can you get some support? Whether that be counselling, or help from Al anon who are set up to help relatives of alcoholics, there you will find lots of people in your situation

Secondly, have you tried to talk or address anything with him yet? I’m wondering if he would be receptive to this or now – had to ask

Please post back and stay strong

[Author]

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