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It is very hard Mnon when you are trying to support someone through their addiction. I’ve tried all sorts of things to help – checking him into rehab, locking the drinks cupboard, getting rid of alcohol from the house, having people over to ‘babysit’ him so he can’t go out and buy booze – but none of these things matter because the addict has to want to change himself, nobody can do it for him.

I noticed that you said you’re the wage earner, so are there some boundaries you can set with your money so only you have access to it? If it’s your money, you should be the one in control of spending it.

[mnon]

Hi, sorry its took so long to reply.

We sat down and spoke, set out some rules for our relationship to work, but the rules didn’t last long.

I couldnt stop him using my money because he would just steal my card and storm out if I stopped him.

Long story short, we had an argument yesterday, he kept me awake again and I was supposed to be doing overtime so we had money by end of next week. I lost my rag cause I was so tired (the amount of hours I was doing just so we had pennies was making me really ill and on Thursday on my first proper day off in ages all I did was sleep, I must have slept for about 20 hours on/off) and couldnt find my papers for my cigarettes and he had them last as he used them to make himself joints, the argument got out of hand and he used force on me again (shoved me into a corner of a wall and I fell onto the floor). Weve split again and this time I’m not going back. He knows I’ve got an alcoholic aunt who’s nearly dead because of her alcoholism and one person is enough. I cant stand by and let him use my money which I’ve earned to make him end up like my aunt. I’m gutted we have had to split but I cant take this attitude anymore and the good times are long gone. I just hope this break up makes him finally realise how bad alcohol is destroying everything around him and he finally does something about it.

As for me, I need to finally look after myself and can sort out all the debts I’ve got and start rebuilding my life. My family ain’t proud of the state I’ve got myself into, but they’re supporting me and that’s all I can ask for

[Author]

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