[anon]

At the age of 14 (he is 5 years older than me) my older brother began taking anphetamines, acid and LSD with his friends. After a bad “trip” (as he calls it) he began suffering from anxiety and paranoia and has ever since. That was 15 years ago and its progressively got worse.
things have happened in his life that definitely did’t help him, our mum died when he was 18 and his fiance left him in 2005. I do feel he uses these as excuses, however harsh that might sound, as he has shown distressing behaviour (attacked me when on drugs- aged 21, attacked my dad numerous times between ages of 15-24, doesn’t show up to work, accidentally nearly overdosed on concoxtions of drugs…to name only a few…) since the age he began taking drugs.
Now at 29, he has been off work for 3 months, cannot pay his bills (so my dad is to avoid him being on the streets), compulsively lies to me and my dad, and sits in his house 24/7.
We finally got him to go to a private doctor and he was assessed at the Priory. They strongly recommended him being an inpatient, as to get over the anxiety, he needed to be completely abstinent from alcohol and drugs. With living on his own and having absolutely no willpower he cannot be trusted not to drink (he has said that drinking eases the anxiety, but surely it also egnites it???). When they suggested this he was almost climbing the walls, demanding he didnt have a problem, and wasn’t “mental”. The antidepressants he has been prescribed are very strong, and should only be taken at night time and cause severe side effects when alcohol is drank with them. This doesnt stop him abusing them, taking them in the morning so he is “off his face” all day, cannot put a sentence together and I constantly get a barrage of random texts etc. He can’t be trusted to do this by himself so what can I do? He has no common sense, gets himself into ridiculous debt, when my dad gives him money for his mortgage he gets cash out straight away and “forgets” what he spends it on, he drove his car even though the medication makes his insurance void even though we stressed and stressed he couldn’t. He just doesn’t compute any information, and he cannot seem to look after himself.
I’m starting to think this is his own choice, he chooses to lie, to do nothing and to hurt his family. My dad is getting ill from worry, he doesn’t care. I don’t know what to do. I take him the doctors, get him food, get his prescriptions, I know I smother him, but I’m getting angry. I almost dont want to help him anymore, waht more can we do???

[asibling]

Thank you for sharing your story.

It seems there are few services and research done considering the experience of family members, in particular siblings. That is why I am conducting a research project looking at the narratives of siblings, encouraging others like you to share their experiences. If you wish to participate and share your story or would like more information please contact me at u1422721@uel.ac.uk. Thank you.

[Author]

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