[ele1215]

I am sitting here now my husband passed out on the couch (bottle of whisky in hand) it’s 8:30am. The reason is apparently lockdown and what else does he have to do. I have been with my husband for nearly ten years, he has always used cocaine “recreationally” and I knew this before I said yes to marrying him. For years we have done the same cycle one minute he loves me the next he’s telling me all the stuff he’s done for me and how I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I can’t be intimate with him anymore because of all the past horrendous ordeals he’s put me through, the words he has said to me, comparing me to more “fun” people I feel broken, alone and my guard is firmly up. But I can’t leave, I can’t seem to let go because I love the lovely man who I know is deep inside. But am I making it worse by staying? I believe I have ptsd now I know I have anxiety my heart races all the time, what mood will he be in, will he care about me today, what state will he be in when he comes home, will he even make it home? I’m so worried that my behaviour now is making him worse. I don’t want either of us to be unhappy but I can’t seem to bring myself to make the change becuase I don’t want to give up on him or us. He tells me he doesn’t care, does he mean that or am I not being supportive enough. I will never forgive myself if something happened to him because I left or because I stayed.

[gopher]

Ele

This is not you, I am in a similar situation with my wife and lock down is nothing to do with it, that is just an excuse. My wife of 5 years has chose drinking neat vodka through the day and then lied to my face when I ask her about it. Unfortunately their are two ways about this, he either wants help and let’s you help him OR you like me are wasting your life staying with someone who clearly has chosen boose over you.

I have given my wife an ultimatum it’s the drink or me, make your choice. She told me straight in an argument, I don’t have a problem if you don’t like it you can leave.

So who’s the mug, him for drinking or you for staying and putting up with it. If the tables were changed would he stay??

I hope he sees sence, if not…

[rosesht36]

Hi ele1215

Your not alone my husband has a on going alchole problem and cocaine addiction it’s not you remember that, its him his way sadly of coping and being here is a good start for you to focus on you and your well being. Your stronger than you make yourself out to be because your a loving wife and support him thoe he may be unkind with words it’s the drink and drugs talking not him remember that. Hold your head up high and come on here to talk as we all suffer the same pain and together we will make it through. Hang in there

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