[suey]

My son is an alcoholic and has been for 10 years. I’ve been to hell with him. He did go away for 6 weeks and was doing well. He’s back home and drinking again. He’s destroyed me and his brother what advice would you give as I’m giving up on him. I’ve had enough

[danman83]

Hiya sue I hope your OK.

I’m 4 month clean from coke and alcohol. I was never really bad on alcohol but I admit now I’m an alcoholic.

I take it he went rehab for 6 week?

Did he do a A. A programme while away. Because it looks like he just came out and put the programme down and just got back to his usual self.

May be he needs go for longer, but also he definitely needs to join alcoholics anonymous, and work the 12 steps. Has he done this already?.

It’s a hard one this sue because. You can use tough love and kick him out and say I can’t cope anymore. Then if something happens to him along the line you might blame yourself. But It won’t be your fault. This is just how we think.

Or you put your foot down now and tell him he has 1 last chance he gets the help. And you make sure u can see he is putting the effort in. And if he doesn’t then tell him he needs to move out. You have to think of your own health as well. I have to go out now. Do ill come back later when u reply.

[suey]

Hi Dan. He’s done all the courses. He goes to AA meetings and also engaged with inspire and still is. It was the first time he’s been away from his family it wasn’t a Rhiab as such it was more a place to give me and his brother a break. He was doing so well there he wasn’t allowed to drink which he didn’t. I felt so sorry for him as he was missing home and his kids so I gave him the chance to come home but not to drink. They told me they were keeping his bed for 7 days incase anything happened. Day 5 at home he went and bought a can of beer so I told him that he had to go back to this place. He rang them and explained he had had a can and they told him he couldn’t go back because he relapsed. I dropped to my knees I’ve now been left to try and keep him from going out on his own it’s like I’m treating him like a baby. His brother won’t even speak to him I’m torn between the 2 of them as I want to help both my sons they only have me. I’ve given him a final chance he stays clean or he’s gonna have to move out. Its up to him now booze or his family

[lindyloo]

Hi Suey, welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one with addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice.

Danman83 has already offered some great advice.

I joined the Theresa thread, if you scroll back after clicking ‘share your story ‘. There are several of us mums with sons with addictions. Everyone is so understanding and supportive and you feel that you’re not alone. I joined 2 years ago. My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine.

I’m happy to say that after joining AA and CA groups, and sheer strength and determination, he is over 10 months clean.

I wanted you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s up to your son to admit that he’s struggling and needs support.

Please look after your own health and well-being in rhe meantime. Adfam homepage offer advice and support also Drugfam.

Take care ❤️

Lx

[danman83]

Hey lindyloo, good to hear your son is 10 month clean. So happy for him and you! I bet he feels great now and I bet you sleep easier at night. Soo good to hear this ????❤️

[lindyloo]

Hi Dan, yes so pleased and very proud of him. He’s also helping others too, but knows when to take a step back as it can get overwhelming!

It’s a relief, that’s for sure! I’ll bet your mum is pleased for you too.

He can still get anxious and stressed about little things. I always make sure he’s eating well. You don’t want to crave when it’s only food your body needs.

Keep on doin what you’re doin Dan, you’re doing a great job! ????

Lx ❤️

[danman83]

Thanks. For that lindy. Really happy for you both.

I bet he eats very well I eat loads now haha.

Good to hear from you.

The anxious and stress will come. And go. I guess he can meditate on it. And is a lot stronger now.

X

[suey]

Hi Lindyloo. The advice Dan has given me my son is going AA meetings. He’s engaged with inspire and has done all the courses. He’s got one final chance now it’s either make or break so I’ll see how he goes. It’s his choice now

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