[ladyladylady]

Our wedding is set for two months from now and I have no idea what to do. We have been together for 7+ years and engaged for 2. We love each other and are best friends but his drinking problem has hit a low.

My fiance has always drank, sometimes extensively. This past December it got really bad. I’d come home to him passed out on the floor, he’d steal our roommates liqour, he’d lie over and over again about being sober. He turns mean. He’s hiding his drinking from everyone but hiding pints everywhere.

He’s tried to be sober for the past couple months but the past two weekends he’s drinken for three days straight. Right back to the hiding and the lies.

He’s recently switched therapists and I think this one is a better fit and that he could get to sobriety if he really wanted it. He just keeps getting upset with me or himself or anything and slipping right back into it.

Is two months enough time to heal? He’s not okay. I’m not okay. What do we even do?

[lindyloo]

Hi Lady, thank you for sharing your story. After 7 years you would think you would know a person – right?

Do you have children- are you planning to? Do you think this is a healthy, nurturing environment to raise them?

I realise it must be difficult, as you must love this man when he’s sober. There are so many stories here from wives and girlfriends who are in similar situations.

I guess what I’m saying is Lady that only you can decide if this is the future you want together.

If you truly want to spend your life with him, I think he needs to commit himself to joining AA, get sober , and he needs to be the one to recognise that he has an addiction to alcohol and seek support to stop drinking.

I wish you well – whatever choice you make Lady.

Lx

[debc]

Hi Ladyladylady,

Welcome to the Forum.

I can only reiterate Lindyloos words and you really need to think about the future.

What has he done to try and be sober? Has he been to meetings or gone on line to Zoom meetings?

You ask if 2 months is enough time to heal. I think the honest answer is that they will always be an addict but can be a recovering addict if they really want too, with lots of hard work and commitment.

Take care.

Dx

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