Hi you are not alone. I feel like this sometimes. My husband is a cocaine addict and so are all of his friends and any members of his family that he bothers to stay in touch with. Also one of my siblings is a cocaine addict, with an occasional heroin habit. Sometimes I feel like I’m just surrounded by people on drugs but I have to remember there are other people, my other siblings are not addicted to drugs. it helps to talk but I understand you not wanting to talk to friends, I was so embarrassed or nervous when I found this forum (hence the name choice lol) but as you look through the posts you see whatever you are going through there are always other people experiencing the same. You don’t have to feel alone and you definitely aren’t the only one whatever your situation.