[alan302021]

First time reaching out to people in the same boat as me.

I’m 30 and have been using cocaine recreationally for the best part of 10 years now and I can count on 1 hand how many people in my life that don’t do cocaine. I am totally exposed all the time. I’ve been supporting some very close friends recently and they are all quite heavy users so we have been getting on it a lot more frequent.

My usage has become uncontrollable of late. I have always enjoyed a good sesh but have always known when to stop or be sensible weather it be financial restrictions or just knowing when to go to bed. During march I started drinking very heavy (cheap ciders) but coke and drink go hand in hand with me. It was reasonably controlled at the start, maybe 6/7 0.4 grams a week. But over the past few months it could be 10 grams a night shared.

I’ve known its been growing into a issue for a while now, I’m not blaming anyone else but myself for my actions but when your house mate floats the idea monday and then your other pals call you tuesday for a sesh, your boss calls you for a sesh wednesday and then your partner calls you friday and then your sibling calls you saturday pretty much week after week. I know i could say no and resist but we all know how hard that can be.

Ive spent £1000’s in such a short amount of time, racked up debts with friends, missed a lot of rent payments. I should be able to pay it off with ease because i make good money, But because I’m constantly paying my weeks bill with my wages every week, I have to keep letting people down and have started accumulating more debt.

Ive always had vices, it was a running joke years ago that I loved all the worst stuff, gambling, drugs, drink, girls. I’m now in a very loving relationship and want it to work. Ive managed to control my other vices pretty well the past few years. hardly gambled and stop chasing women and drank in moderation really.

I dont wanna loose friends, my job or my misses. I’ve brought some books on addiction today so hopefully they help.

[posie]

Hi Alan, I’m so sorry you’re in this position. My husband has also gotten himself in this position and similar circumstances, all his friends do it and he refuses to stay away from them. We now barely talk and I have no idea what to do or say to help him.

Do you think you could talk to your partner?

[Author]

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