[petaleyes]

My 16year old is steeling from myself and his brothers I know he is using drugs and I am so worried about him this is causing so much tension with the family they want me to throw him out which I don’t want to do how can I do that to some one that I love and has a problem he also has Aspergers my emotions are all over the place trying to do the right thing for all of us

[mumofanaddict42]

Hi. My 19 year old has been using cocaine for two years.
When we first found out, we tried the love and support route and he promised us he would stop. He got a job, started looking healthy etc etc.
Just over two weeks ago, my suspicions of him money going missing , my iPad and phone going missing , his earnings being spent in one night resulted in me hacking into his computer and needless to say, the messages I found confirmed he never stopped using, he just got clever but not clever enough.
We have him an ultimatum – either professional help or out the house.
He agreed to help and is now in rehab which is still extremely hard as he now has blocked contact from us although i have been told this is part of the withdrawal process and before this he admitted his dad, that he was using daily.
The best advice I can give you is that if you are certain he is using, you have to get help asap. We left it too long but was lucky that our son wanted the help.
That said, the emotional side gets tougher. It’s the most horrendous situation to be in.
Do loads of research , talk to counsellors on here or Talk to Frank is another great site to use. You can call them 24/7 and they and they are overly helpful
I now have a parent therapy session once a week which is part of the rehab program and one mum said to me, this situation is you wake up with it, you go to bed with it and if you wake up in the night, you may as well be watching a horror story and it’s so true.

The thing to remember is the addict is in a child mindset. Therapy brings them back into an adult mindset but whilst in this child mindset , no matter what age, they don’t cant cope with confrontation, they demand the ridiculous and if they don’t get their own way, they will stamp their feet like a child. This is partly why my son has blocked us out, the other is because after a week in withdrawal, they realise where they are and that begin to realise that there are no more drugs. The first week they are in an ‘unconscious ‘ set of mind .
I hope that helps . Keep strong. It’s such an awful situation but many are in the same boat, sadly

[icarus-trust]

Hi Petaleyes
Thanks for sharing your story. I can see how difficult this must be for you. The previous blogger has given lots of good advice. There is also The Icarus Trust that you can contact. We are a charity that supports the family and friends of addicts and we have people you could talk with who would understand what you are going through. This is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this is useful and you can get help. Good luck.

[Author]

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