[paw_x]

Hi Misty,

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

My partner relapsed last year after 3 years of sobriety and it was devastating. I almost feel like it’s worse when you know they’ve recovered before, and that they can do it and live a happy life, as you have this hope that they can do it again and maybe you can still have this happily ever after.

I hope your husband can do this. I hope the time with his family does him some good. Please look after yourself. What you’re going through is horribly traumatic and you need help too. Everyone’s situation is different but I hid my partners addiction from everyone, including his family, for as long as I could until he had spent every penny and had no choice but to ask for help. I regret not telling them from the start, giving him that accountability and building that support network for him to get the help he needed & I could take some time for me. I needed to be able to speak to people as well, I confide in others so that I knew I wasn’t crazy and I could feel a little bit less alone.

Just for own safety I don’t know if outing or confronting the dealer is a good idea. Try and use this time to find some peace and to get clear head after all you’ve been through.

I hope things get better for you x

[MistyMou]

Thank you, Paw-x, very wise words.

He phoned me yesterday to say he’ll start looking for flights home in a few days. I felt terrible saying that he can’t come home yet and, that we both need time to recover from the last few months, that we are both mentally and physically exhausted.

I haven’t told his family about drugs, but have told them that he’s taking prescription medication and drinking a lot. They wouldn’t understand about drugs. I think they would think weed or someting like that, not swallowing a corrosive metal cleaner that is GHB.

I haven’t slept properly for two nights – as well as not for the previous 80 or whatever it was (other than when we went on the holiday – when we both slept for 17 hours a day for the first few days).

I’ve spoken to a couple of friends about it, but they don’t really understand. Their view is ‘what a plonker – he has everything going for him and doesn’t he realise what he’s losing’ – well, yes he does, but he doesn’t seem to care.

[MistyMou]

Are there support groups that anyone suggests?

[paw_x]

Famanon have a website for family members of addicts, they run meetings as well if you want to have a look to see if there’s any near you. I think they have some on Zoom too.

I know what you mean about friends maybe not understanding, but just think it’s good to build up a network of people who will support you through this. It’s tough feeling like you can’t say why you’re struggling and we need all the help we can get!

I hope you keep getting this time to yourself and don’t feel rushed into welcoming him back. You need this time just as much as he does x

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