[stephen]

Don’t you wish, you had information before trying or information on how to deal with a loved one and what truly ticks through and addicts mind? I know I wish I had that. Hello .a stand up, crack and heroin addict. I’m not using now but I know it’s always one step away. I used it to fill a hole in my life that would be stand up. I want to share my stories with a wider audience as I have an ability to perfectly express a situation please look at this link and if you can pass it to people you think would want to hear more.. gf.me/u/zh34aw. Pls spread

[ronnieboyne]

Hi Stephen

Thank you for this post. I will look up the link now but firstly let me say really well done you! I have been a partner aka nurse, carer, mother and general punching bag to a heroin addict for over 5 years. I read the heroin additction site every single day in order to try to understand the situation from the addicts point of view and yet still I cannot accept the choices he made with all the help and support he had to get clean. And yet there are some who have no one and no support yet manage to turn their lives around. I would love to hear how you managed to do this even though I am no longer with my partner (if you could call him that) I don’t believe in the hitting rock bottom message – being homeless in the freezing cold begging on the streets with no friends at all panicking about your next hit even as you are banging up would be rock bottom in my opinion … but no it wasn’t at all. Even when he was happy, no triggers or stress he would use and it was almost as if he didn’t believe that he could hang on to genuine happiness, leaving to score whilst things were still good if that makes any sense.

Short of actually using heroin, I have read everything there is and met many users. I know that crack, although not addictive physically is probably the worst with regards to the mental pull. My ex did snowballs but heroin was his DOC and to be honest, I preferred it when he shot up the two together because he didn’t nod out and look quite so much like an extra in Sean of the Dead! I would ask him why he used and he would say that it wasn’t just about keeping well it was also because he felt more like the way he believed he should feel whilst he was with people .. it made him relax and both feel and be the person he wanted to be which is no different to why many people drink alcohol except that booze is legal and definitely far more dangerous. After a hit of gear, the user is calm, often quiet or gouching out whereas with alcohol there can be extreme violence. It is when the addict is withdrawing and has no money for the next fix the real harm takes place in my experience with my ex.

Any help to understand more would be very welcome because even though I am not still with him, I still care very much and want to help from a distance.

I will have a look now at the site and if I feel it is useful will most definitely spread the word so to speak

Well done you and keep taking one day at a time – I hear it’s super difficult in the beginning and you wonder why you’re bothering due to feeling so depressed and ill. That devil will always be on your shoulder Stephen but I guess you truly did get sick and tired of being sick and tired? Any advice of what truly goes through an addict’s head is always helpful although I have had discussions about this with quite a few, especially my ex.

The father of my children is an alcoholic but being a QC he has plenty of money to manage his addiction, regularly enjoying 5* rehab with pool, gym and room service!! He tried to explain it like this – if you pointed a gun at an alcoholic’s head and put a huge glass of whiskey in front of them, telling them that if they drank it you would shoot them … the alcoholic would be rapidly trying to assess if he had the time to down it before the trigger was pulled.

I will let you know what I think of your link and thank you 🙂

[Author]

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