[shazshaz]

My daughter really resents us for throwing her out, she has be using all sorts, heroin, weed, alcohol, addicted to tablets, has mental health issues. We could not let her come back home because of the things she had done at home and we have other vunerable children.

It keeps getting thrown back in my face and absolutely everything is blamed on me, I am the reason she is taking drugs because of this that and the next when she was a child. I hasten to add she did not have a bad childhood it was not perfect but it was not bad.

She has been to our house a few times wanting money and when she has not got her own way she put all our windows through. She has also been constantly abusive and has now been warned by the police not to come to the house.

She does things that push us further and further away, I have hung on and on and on even to the dertiment of my own health. Obviously now Christmas is coming up and quite frankly I have not spoken to her for a few days and I have kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet. But then I get it thrown in my face with a pile of abuse that I have been ignoring her and it is my fault she is an addict and how I am not suppporting her! Too right I am not now supporting her beause I am at the point of no return and I know this is awful to say about your own child but it is never going to end!

You see normal life is too boring for her, this is what she has said, a life being high and having a buzz is what she wants, selling tablets and goodness knows what to other vunerable people, shoplifting ect, I cannot stand by that. I know she has mental health issues however some of the stuff she says shows me she knows exactly what she is doing. I do not want my other vunerable children mixed up in all this.

so why do they blame everyone else but themselves for putting the poisoness stuff into their bodies? does it make them feel better to blame someone else? and when is enough enough?

[davidk]

sounds like a tough situation you are in, and of course having other children to protect means you can’t do much differently as you have them to think about too.

people in denial that don’t want to admit they are wrong will blame everything on anyone but themselves,

you can try and be there and get the blame, and if you try not being there because they push you away so much, they will then blame the whole problem on that instead.

The people around the addict are victims of the addiction just as much as the user but we are the ones that have to be strong,

sometimes I feel like I don’t have the strength left to deal with it anymore and none of us deserve to be tested like this.

seeing posts on here really helps though as you soon realize your scenario is pretty similar to so many others, addiction just seems to bring out the same monster in all of its victims, and often its hard to separate the person you love from the addict they have become.

[ty85]

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. My son is 19 and is taking everything except heroin, which I fear will be the next thing. I’m finding it very very hard as I have a younger son at home as well. I’ve went from feeling guilt to shame to rage and every other emotion. He doesn’t live with us and my life is a constant worry. He too blames everything and everyone for his addiction, and same, he didn’t have a bad childhood either. Unfortunately I can’t tell you how to make it better, all I can say is that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling and what you’re dealing with. I live every day dreading getting a phone call to say he’s dead as he has overdosed a few times. It’s easy for others to say to me walk away etc but I will never stop worrying. This forum has helped me by reading other people’s stories and resonating with them. All the best.x

[lindyloo]

Hi guys

Hope you don’t mind me reading your thread.

Ty85: I really sympathise with you as my 28yr old son has had alcohol and cocaine addictions for 10years. The last 5 have been most difficult.

Hes managed to hold down his job and has a flat last 3 years. It hasn’t been easy, blamed everything and everyone else for his debts, his moods . Hooked up with a gf who was totally wrong for him, it was a living nightmare for all.

I wanted to say that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My son reached out for support last year. Started AA, CA and NA meetings, met others, got a sponsor currently working through the 12 steps program. Hes relapsed a few times, but this is not unusual.

He’s currently 60 odd days clean, more like himself , more loving, thoughtful, starting to feel ‘normal

Try not to beat yourself up, mine had a good upbringing too, he’s just got that addictive nature unfortunately.

As he says, love the addict but hate the behaviour. I try to remember that when he relapses and is tormented by everything that evil drug causes.

Remember you’re not alone focus on yourself and your family.

Always here to chat.

Lx

[Author]

Posts