My partner of 18 months has a heroin addiction. He has managed to get clean 4 times in the time I’ve been with him. He goes through the hell of withdrawal. Stays clean for around 4 days then relapses. He says He feels lost. He states his undying love for me at whatever stage he’s at, but It’s destroying him and our relationship. He can be like jekyl and Hyde. He gets verbally aggressive towards me at times because he says he feels weak and a failure. I’ve always said i wouldn’t judge if there was complete and utter honesty. But he’s lost 2 jobs because of this addiction. We are gradually getting further into debt aswell. He says He wants a normal life and to marry me as he’s never been in love like this in his life, but my head gets messed up, as selfish as that sounds. I can’t live without him, but don’t know where to turn. He shuns help of professionals because they only suggest methadone and that is something he cannot tolerate as he becomes more addicted to that. We live in an area where there are no prescribers of subutex, so he buys loads of df’s to stop any pain so he can continue to work. I’m gradually heading towards a break down as i hate seeing the man i love battle this. Thanks for listening