[concernedaddict]

My wife is hurting at my addiction.

I feel like she is loosing it big time. She’s all over the place. She’s very angry with me as it’s been 2 days and she saying some mean things. I’ve learned to give her space but she don’t want that. She wants me home but hates the sight of me. I’m worried she’s going to have a breakdown she’s not eating or sleeping working 8 hours a day going home to a 2 year old who cries for his daddy and sits alone in her room all night. I hate what I’ve done but I have a support a network I’m off at my parents I’m getting looked after I’m going to meetings to get my shit out and feel good about it. What has she got? Nothing. Nothing at all and that kills me inside. I can’t help her. I know what I have to do. I have to get clean for me so I can be there for her and our son but that don’t help her now. It’s hard and I feel so much guilt and shame. I just want her to be ok.

I want to help her and need to help myself

[georgia26]

I have been your wife.. it is the hardest thing ever to deal with, but she will deal with it – my partner is doing what you did – going to meetings, he desperately wanted help and he got it and hes doing so well and its made us even stronger.

I am so proud of him now and if you get through this and come out the other side youll both be stronger than ever.

Dont take what she says personally, I used to get angry and say horrible things as i didnt understand. I didnt mean it though, i was just hurting.

What help are you seeking? how much were you using? how long have you been clean? does she have support?

[concernedaddict]

Thank you for you comments.

Today is a better day we have talked and discussed where we go from here. It is very difficult to u sweat and the damage I have caused but I see the pain and how angry she is at me.

I’ve been using heavily for the last 6 months with my longest clean time being about 2 weeks. As of recent, I have been using every few days. Once I start I simply cannot stop myself.

I’m doin meeting and have a sponsor and I’m going through the steps. I know what I have to do and just be honest with myself. You reached my “rock bottom” and it’s life or death for me now.

My wife cannot believ me and we have agreed that I cannot go back home until I get a clean drug test and I have a month to do this.

This is my last and final chance and I am not going to waste it.

My wife like other spouses of addicts really go through it and I’ve put her through hell. It’s disgusting what it does

[georgia26]

It is and i feel for you – you never chose to be an addict, its not something you choose its a disease, its so so heartbreaking and i really do feel for you.

Good luck – your wife will be ok, you can do this, I can tell you want it.

come on here and chat if you need to.

wishing you lots of strength xxx you and your wife

[dnanon]

You just keep focussing on staying clean. You seem to be doing all the right things. I wish my son was doing the same but as he is not in contact don’t know. It’s good that you have spoken to your wife now and I really hope that you are both able to work it out together. I wish you loads and loads of luck with your recovery.

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