[dee69]

My situation is very similar to others, I’m the wife of an cocaine addict. My husband admitted to using cocaine and had been for 3 years. His guilt got to him so he told me. He has been trying to get help with the doctor, counseling, its all very slow going. He ended up using 7 days a week, he was on medical leave for 2 months. He never left the house, stay up all night, sleep all day, moody, and would say its all in my head. I came home from work early one day to find him having a one man party in the kitchen, snorting coke off the counter, music cranked. He begged me to forgive him, and I did. I found 6 bags of cocaine in my mailbox a couple months later. So now his drug dealer is coming to my home. That was the final straw, I kicked him out. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a good man, he has ADHD and anxiety, so he uses that as part of his excuses. I found him a detox rehab he could walk into the next day. So I had to take out a loan for 17 thousand dollars for 30 days. He wanted to go, was ashamed, and worked hard. Now he’s home, after I was alone tending to our home and bills, the stress and sadness was alot to take in. I cried everyday. How could this man who says he loves me do this to me, and cause such turmoil. So he’s home, things are rough right now, I found a bag of cocaine in the mailbox again 2 days ago. I confronted him, and he promises he will stop. Nothing but lies and deceit. Again, he’s a good man, and we are good people. As his wife, I’m broken, hurt beyond repair. How do we get past this. He found a sponsor, and says he will go to meetings. The trust is gone, addicts don’t see what this does to the ones who love them most. I have been the strong one, I have been there to support him, my pain is deep, and I feel broken. How do I deal with this, do I leave, do I stay and love him and support him. This is my first time talking about it, asking for advice. What do I do?

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