[kulstar]

Hi

For someone to believe someone made them do it is irrational. This will only apply if literally held a gun to their head and said sniff that else I’ll shoot you which I suspect didn’t happen?!

Only by truly accepting you were to blame for the choices you made can someone’s DNA change. Once you open your heart to acceptance of your wrong doings you then seek to right the wrong. The danger of giving up something for someone else (partner, kids, partners etc) is that what happens if that relationship breaks down or you have a fight? You’re forever walking on eggshells and not being able to express yourself like a relationship should be.

As a former addict my behaviour and my usage was all my doing. I made my bed and slept in it.

Acceptance is the first step, not avoidance as this will be short lived in my view.

[gardenfence]

Hi Kulstar

I really appreciate your reply.

He never blamed me for his cocaine use he blamed me for creating the negative feelings he had about himself. He stored up over time a bank of things he perceived as negative words/actions from me and said my negativity towards him was why he ended the relationship. I saw his behaviour and mind set change and depression grow alongside his increased cocaine/alcohol use. To this day he will not see his cocaine/alcohol use as a contributory factor to his negative feelings and lack of communication as the issue.

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