[lemonysnicket]

I’m sorry, Honey. I hope it’s a lapse or two and not a full relapse. I’m divorced from my husband now and he’s at last living a clean and health life, but when we were together and he was using on and off for years, he never gave up drink and I think that was the key. He nolonger drinks. I think he’s not had one since the start of lockdown but drinks zero per cent beers (they’ve improved so much in recent years he’s happy not to have the real thing). He’s moved back to his home town and in with his parents but that’s been good for his mental health. He’s doing well.

I would make some basic demands of your husband. Set some boundaries and if he breaks them, separate from him. If he is tumbling back into full blown addiction and it looks as if he is, there’s nothing you can do but leave him to it, because only he can make the changes needed.

I am not surprised you feel like you can’t go back there again. Neither could I and I had to walk away and leave a 20 year marriage. Hardest thing I’ve ever done and 18 months later it’s still so hard. Good luck to you, I wish you the best xx

[kel1]

Hi ladies,

I can completely relate to everything that’s been written here sadly. I ended up with PTSD over the hell I was put thru. You’re right, that drug is so destructive, and the behaviour from the addict can drive you to insanity. The lies, let downs, manipulation and so on..

I left what was once I good relationship of 22 years. No idea what he is doing now, but the fact he don’t see our kids speaks volumes.

I’m 8 months down the line now and I’m still in alot of pain. I hope it gets easier but it’s hard to hang on to some sort of hope when you’ve been so badly treated

[icarus-trust]

Hi Honey,

I’m sorry that things are difficult for you again.

If you would like to talk to us at The Icarus Trust please get in touch. We are a charity that supports people having to deal with a partner’s addiction. We have trained and experienced people you could talk with if you feel it would be helpful.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org

Good luck.

[honey2019]

Thankyou for your replies. He has admitted to occasional use but the tests are still positive every time. I am just sick of it. I try to be supportive but I think I’m just enabling him that way!

[Author]

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