[scarlat]

My son is 32 has a partner and two young boys, he works hard and can go for quite a few weeks without a crisis, but when things seem to be going okay he seems to be determined to blow it.
He has a history of drug and alcohol abuse for the past 15 years.
I think he had not been taking anything or drinking for a few months but of course I can not be sure as he is dishonest about what he does. Last Wednesday he went for it big time, he says he took legal high but I know from the past that his drug of choice is ketamine and he like to drink. His girl friend came home and says she found drugs all over the front room and he was out of it, she took the boys to a friends for the night. The next day when he was still out of it she took him to the hospital, he was put on a drip for 4 days. By Saturday he was coming round to find his girl friend telling him not to come home again. The drugs he took caused muscle destruction which released chemicals into his blood system causing strain on the kidneys, he was at risk of developing acute Kidney failure. The IV hydration he was given in hospital helped to prevent this.
I am a nurse and sometimes I see patients like my son and all the social problems they bring with them due to their destructive behavior. I felt shocked to realize that the typical drug addict patient I was looking at was my son. I have given what support I feel I can to help my son especially being there for my grandchildren but I feel so frightened of the future I feel like I am on a roller coaster that I can’t get off. Almost like I have read the last page of the book and I don’t like it but I cant change it. I can not trust my son, I think he may be okay again now for a while but only till the next time, when he lets us all down again.

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