Iām really sorry, you sound like your in a very tough place at the moment. I donāt know anything about your situation but I know how it feels when you canāt summon the energy for another day and see your way forward. So many people will read your post and know that feeling. Just know your not alone in this, keep posting on this site. I found yesterday a struggle at work, just coping with a new co-worker and a million questions, I just wanted to cry. Last night I listened to some positive podcasts and today I feel slightly less like throwing my self out of my office window.
Trying not to think beyond today also helps me feel less overwhelmed. Goodluck xxxx