[hox-26]

Whilst you and everyone else has cleaned up and moved on he has stayed on this path. He now has the best of both worlds cocaine and yourself.

But now you feel you have to support him with his recovery. You can’t. Only he can get himself clean and until he does you will have no life with him.He has a better life, cocaine and you. You cannot have a lovely life with cocaine and him. If he wanted to commit to recovery and you would he not have done this already. There is no excuse for taking it, they take it when they are happy, take it when they feel depressed. There is always some excuse. It is something that you have to decide for yourself I’m afraid.

[kel1]

Absolutely nailed it. Couldn’t have said that better myself.

Cocaine destroyed my family and I’m only just picking myself off the floor from the damage it’s caused. It’s awful. It devastated my whole family and as a consequence I had a break down. Six months on and I’m still working hard on myself to cope and learn that IM NOT TO BLAME. As I was constantly told. You ain’t that far ahead yet so be very careful you want to engage with this.

This literally has changed and scarred me forever.

Leave. Just leave.

[mo229]

Hi doobear, your story has mirrored mine to an extent, me and my ex partner met 6 years ago and fell madly in love, broke up due to his cocaine addiction and him cheating on me (which I didn’t realise at the time) and a year ago we rekindled our love and he had told me at this point he had sought help and had been clean for a few months. I didn’t know too much about addiction and recovery at this point so we got back together and fell head over heels in love again because he swore that he would never go back to that life, so why shouldn’t I believe him? We had a blissful 10 months together which took a sudden turn whilst I was away on holiday, when he admitted to me he had relapsed on a night out. I thought he had control of the situation but the following month we spent together and I found him trying to make more and more excuses to drink and use. Cut a long story short, whilst he was quarantining himself in separate houses he ended things very abruptly with me, told me this is how he wanted to be, that he didn’t love me anymore, wants to be on his own and that I was a narcissist etc. All of these things came completely out of the blue, only a few days prior he was telling me how in love with me he was and how he wanted a family with me. Its now been a month and I have heard nothing from him, I’m assuming he has gone back to using again, who knows.

What I’m trying to get at is I understand how you feel in regards to you so want to believe the clean version of him is the one that speaks truth and the one you should stick by. I, like Hox26 and Kel1 have tried to support my partner in every way possible, yet as soon as it was convenient for him I got discarded for with no emotion for the addiction. Because he is relapsing already, and had only been clean for 6 months, it sounds like he still has quite a long road ahead before he’s fully on the right track, and going by everyone elses story on here…it’s not a simple road. You will always be second best and honestly, if you’re looking to have kids, this really isn’t the person you want to have them with. I’m in my late 20’s and that’s how I’m trying to view things, it’s better to walk away now, no matter how much it hurts, rather then further down the line when it gets more painful and complicated, which inevitably it will. As Hox26 says, its always going to be a life with cocaine and him, not just him.

I hope this provides a little comfort x

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