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Hello
Just joined. Don’t really know where to start but we have been struggling with our son who has been doing cannabis for quite sometime. It has got so horrible he can’t live with us anymore because he has caused so much trouble. He went to stay with his nan and grandad but they also had enough of his behaviour so has moved away we all felt we couldn’t help him anymore than we have and felt we had to be hard on him to try to get through somehow. But we worry about him and is very upsetting for myself and his nan being females. Any advice would be helpful. He is also on run from his bail conditions regarding a drug court case ????
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Hi, without knowing exactly what’s happening it’s hard to comment. What’s troubling you the most? Behaviour? Always behaviour when addiction is involved.
Tough love doesn’t work! Sadly until your son wants to help himself there is very little you can do.
If he has offences then you could ask the court/solicitor on his behalf to request a DRR which is rehabilitation in the community.
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Hi traecyr, so get you. I haven’t seen my son in 8 years. I love him so much but no one else in my family will stand by him except my mother & I. He has been addicted to so many drugs. He lives in Australia now where he was born. I live in NZ now. We finally had to send him away as he disrupted the whole family. He went to his father who was no help at all. I finally had to realise that I had other children to think about too, he was making all our lives miserable. He lies all the time. Always wanted money & had all the excuses why & it was always for more drugs. I always gave him some but have stopped now. Have had to do the tough love thing. I don’t think I can offer any advice. I think that we just have to have someone we can talk to about it because they are who they are. It just cuts you up so much being a parent who loves them so much.
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Also want to say. The tough love did help. He does earn money for himself. He is a bit of an Einstein but never fitted into the “box”. Fixes computers now but not a real job. Actually my son is adverse to working for anyone. Can’t stand being told what to do!!
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Did he stop using then? When I said “tough love doesn’t work” I meant in terms of substance misuse not functioning, as some addicts can function perfectly with an addiction. In a nutshell, I mean no one can false someone to stop abusing drugs, so the threat of leaving someone etc doesn’t work! Yeh, might false him to get a job but does it false a person to give up substances? Not usually.
I suppose i should have explained a lil differently.
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