[ruby6]

My dad is an alcoholic, recently he was told that he had cirrhosis of liver and he needs to cut down then stop drinking completely or he will be dead in a year. He has totally buried his head in the sand and is drinking more than ever now. In the past when he and my mum were struggling financially he would ask me for hundreds of pounds every month over the period of a few years – purely to fund his drinking not to help with the bills or mortgage. He would ask me to hide the money in places my mum wouldn’t find it and lie if she asked if i’d lent him any. I was always to scared to say no so even though i despised giving him it i still did it. It only stopped when he got a large sum of money through from the pension of his old job. If that hadn’t come through he would still be asking me for money today. I don’t know how to process my feelings about it all – i hate what he has put me and my mum through but i’m so worried about what happens if he doesn’t help himself.

[bt1978]

Hey Ruby

First of all none of this is your fault, so go easy on yourself. The fact is that your dad is an alcoholic and that is not your doing. It’s also Incredibly unfair that he has made this your problem too.

What you describe in his behaviour is actually very common in alcoholics. Manipulation, hiding things, deception, theft – anything to carry on what they are doing and take zero responsibility for their actions. Also somewhere along the line the role of parent and child has been confused somewhat, it sounds like you have become the latter which is also wrong on a number of levels.

All this said and done, despite his antics he is still your dad and you care about him.

Do you think he is receptive to a chat or any form of help at all?

I also advise you get some support – posting here, counselling, or Al anon as you ha e alot goinf on there and don’t have to face this alone.

Post back when you can and stay strong

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