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When I had my first daughter, I was a social user.
But with any addiction it esculated. I’m concerned that the way my mother dealt with it, affected my relationship with my daughter forever. Maybe not forever, but she won’t let me explain things, and has no respect for me. My daughter thinks, and has thought for years, that I’m trying to blame her grandmother when I try to get certain points across to her, that are important to me. I have admitted every mistake I’ve ever made, I am not in denial. I know what denial is, and have never done that , so that she and my mother know I am simply trying to have them understand, that I really needed a support system, and they were terrible at that, and made me feel ashamed. I only want them to know that is very wrong in trying to help. I am trying to do this without them thinking I blame them for any of it. I don’t blame them for anything, but I do feel upset, and am trying to get rid of my anger, from so much guilt, that I hope they will not do to me in the future. Also I want them to know that I am okay, now , and I am the person, I always have been. Not the drug addict they think I am. -
Hi Tibbie…..I feel for you….Im in your mums shoes, so hearing your side is interesting. Im so glad you have identified certain things. I can understand your frustration, however have you ever thought both your mother and daughter may be frightened??? As mothers we hear it time and time again that changes are being made, and then see the devastation when things go wrong. I think you need to be patient, and I applaud you and want to hug you for being brave enough to conquer those drug demons,,WELL DONE! Take things slowly, it may be that you will have to prove yourself 100 times over…the question is are you willing to do that???? I hope you all can be reconciled, but Rome wasnt built in a day….Take time , and work at rebuilding your relationships with both. xx PS, be grateful too that your mother took your daughter in..who knows what could have happened had that not been the case……xxxx
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