[spring]

Hi all

It’s my first time posting, not sure what to expect but I’m hoping it will help.

My mum is alcohol dependent and has been for at least the last 35 years+. We’ve gone through some difficult times where the drink has totally taken her away from me but then periods where she’s managed to maintain and function.

I can’t say as I ever felt that I had a mum, not in comparison to what others have in a mum.

She’s had a terrible life really, so much sadness and hard times. On the one hand I don’t blame her for turning to drink but on the other I feel angry and hurt.

I’ve begged her to stop, it’s killing her, she’s so physically weak but she can’t.

Her partner took I’ll 6 weeks ago and she’s been in a downward spiral since. He passed away 2 days ago. She’s not eating hardly a thing in that 6 weeks, living off fortisip type shakes. Odd days I’ve managed to get her to drink less and I’ve thought we were getting somewhere but then she’s got drink from neighbours as soon as my backs been turned.

It’s such an emotional rollercoaster. I’m losing her and I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to go to hospital and now she’s caught up in grief and spends all day crying and drinking. I can’t be with her all day, I work and have a young family myself. I’ve tried talking about her grandchildren to encourage her to look after herself but she can’t. I don’t know what else to do.

[danman83]

Maybe she needs see a councilor. It sounds like shes hit rock bottom and is just stuck at bottom of a hole. And needs guidence to get out.

If shes stuck in the house all the time she is just going to get worse. Take her out for a walk and spend time with the grandchildren. And keep reasuring her that life does get better after drink.. its just that 1st hurdle she needs to admit it and weather the storm for a bit. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

[spring]

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

My mum is so physically weak I can’t get her out of the house, she’s struggling even walking around her bungalow. All she can can think about is alcohol. To the point she is so anxious about the bottle running out and her not having any left. She’s become jumpy at any sounds, it’s like she’s not present sometimes. She just cries and cries in between drinking and asking me to help. I can’t let my children see her like this, it would frighten them.

I do try to encourage her everyday and try to get her to drink water and the shakes where I can but it’s so minimal.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Spring,

Thanks for posting. It must be really awful for you feeling that you are loosing your mum in this way and a very sad time for you all.

I wonder if you could do with some support for yourself? If so please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity providing support for people dealing with a family member’s addiction. If you contact us you could be put in touch with one of our trained and experienced people who might be able to help you to decide how to go forward.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope this is helpful.

All the best to you and your mum.

[spring]

Thank you, I will contact.

[icarus-trust]

Good to hear.

I really hope we can help.

[Author]

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