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My boyfriend has struggled with alcohol for on and off 5 years (we’ve been together for 3 and a half years) but over the past 2 years it has got a lot worse. 6 months ago he admitted to myself and his mum and dad that he’s an alcoholic and has been getting help going to meetings. I just feel like he’s never going to change am I a bad person for wanting to walk away now? All of my family and friends have gold me to leave but they don’t understand what he’s going through they don’t understand it’s an illness they just see that he cheats, lies, drinks all the time and doesn’t work. He is spoilt by his parents, and only child and they baby him, they are split up and he plays them off against each other, I don’t want to leave him to cope with this on his own but I can’t cope with it anymore. It’s only been really bad for about a year but it feels like a lifetime. I hate going to work now as I’m constantly waiting for this phonecall or text to say he’s drunk again. It is so hard not having one ounce of trust for the person I love. I don’t believe anything he says alcohol has turned me into a paranoid bitch who crys all the time and questions everything.
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Personally I would give him an ultimatum – he obviously isn’t getting the help he needs by going to these meetings so maybe it’s time to look at the next stage (rehab? residential care?) – if he can’t commit to making a real effort to change I would leave. …of course that’s easy for me to say though as I’m not the one with any emotional attachment to him. I hope things improve one way or another – take care xx
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I am in the same position as you with my son. He wants help but wont commit 100%. He plays me and his dad off against one another. He came here to my house for food and lodging while in treatment,I just can’t help but feel he is taking the p**s.
Anyhow have told him to leave.
Look after yourself, you deserve respect,love and security. Trust is not in the addicts vocabulary. Anger and anxiety are there watchwords.
Maybe having to cope with it on his own will make him commit.
Look after yourself xx -
It is so difficult to be in the situation you are all in.
If you would like to talk to someone who would understand what you are going through please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports family and friends of addicts, people like yourselves. We have experienced trained volunteers who it might help you to talk things through with.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
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