[hrw]

I recently found out my boyfriend is using heroin. I found needles and burnt spoons in his bag months ago and when he told me it was for steroids I went along with it cause I was too scared to admit the truth. A while later he admitted he had been taking it and was addicted to it so I had to face up to the truth. I broke up with him and managed 3 weeks knowing he was sleeping in a tent until I got him to come back and live with me. Now I’m helping him get off it and he’s done 7 days without it and the way he has been for the past 7 days is vile and disgusting he tells me he’s leaving me all the time and tells me he’s going to go and take an overdose and kill himself. He calls me a stupid cunt says I’m a horrible person etc. He’s like this 95% of the time but occasionally I will get a glimpse of the old him and he will apologise and tell me it’s not him saying these things and he doesn’t mean it , it’s just because of what he’s going through. And I think I’ve got the man I fell in love with back. Then 5 minutes later he’s back to being nasty. It’s crushing me but every time I get a glimpse of the old him it makes me believe I have to stay with him and put up with his anger and moods if it means I’m going to get the old him back eventually. I don’t have anyone to talk to, my family don’t understand and tell me to leave him and I don’t need someone like that dragging me down. If I talk to my Friends about it they pretend to understand but how can they know what I’m going through, deep down I know they all think I’m stupid too.

[icarus-trust]

Thank you for posting your story which I am so sorry to read, especially that you don’t have anyone you can talk to.
There is help for people who are going through what you are though. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that provides support for people like yourself, who are dealing with the addiction of a loved one.
We offer a free service called ‘Family Friends’. These are experienced trained people who you could talk with if you get in touch with us. Maybe it would help you to talk with people who really understand what you are going through.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some support for yourself. Good luck.

[Author]

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