Hi Rose,
Thanks for posting. What you are dealing with is hard and you’re right both you and your husband need help. i work for a charity called Icarus Trust. We have experienced and trained people we call Family Friends who you could talk with if you get in touch. Maybe talking to one of them would help you and they would be able to let you know what support we could give you both yourself and your husband.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.