[jj30]

My stepson is a drug user and me and his dad have been trying to help him manage his money so his 4 weekly wage is paid to us. When he gets paid we take out for his rent ( which we pay to make sure he has somewhere to live) send money to his ex for his daughter and then send him money each week for his food. Last week when he got paid a large amount went to a drug bill which left him hardly anything for food until he is paid again. Every month he owes money – in the past we have paid his debts and each time said it is the last time & he promises he is not using etc etc. We can’t believe a word he says now. We are going to take him food but what we are really doing is paying for the drugs in a round about way. It is such a dilemma – we are taking him food to make us feel better but is this the right thing to do ? We have tried to get him to seek help via GP and a drug charity – he said he had an appointment etc etc but that turned out to be a lie.

[redfox20]

Hi there, it’s such an awful situation your stuck between a rock and a hard place. He’s very lucky to have you and he’s father managing he’s finances, it’s good he’s allowing you to do this. I would take him food now and again but would make it very clear it’s not going to be a weekly thing unfortunately it is enabling as anyway they can carry on the addiction without the consequences they will do. Unfortunately until he sees the damage or consequences for himself he will unlikely want to change.

[jj30]

Thank you Redfox20 – Wise words. I had been thinking the same. To take him basic food until he is paid again but make it clear we won’t do it again. He earns more than enough to live on and save to treat his daughter but the drugs are more important to him than her. I know we have to be strong and stick to what we say. It is good he lets us have his money but I feel if he keeps on building up debts the stress of trying to help him manage his money will just be too much for us to take.

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