[Daisy52]

Hello ????

I am totally lost. My son is a grown adult and is turning  our lives upside down.

he is daily smoking weed through some sort of pipe device I think. Regularly drinking one or bottle of  red wine and beers. On the weekends I’m pretty sure he’s taking cocaine. All of this absolutely denied.

I am so sensitive to the smell of weed in house but he still denies it. I have truly lost my son. I found the weed and few weeks ago and disposed of it. He absolutely lost his mind with me.

I have no one I can really talk to about this as no one in my circle has experience or can give advice or wants to.

my husband and I have asked him time and time again to stop doing it in our house but it continues.

his mood is black most days. Sometimes incredibly bubbly and manic I would say.

we are at the stage now where we have no options left but to ask him to leave. He has no contact with his siblings or grandparents anymore. He doesn’t want to be involved with family events and to be honest we don’t want him there anymore as we never know what we’re going to get.

i would be grateful it if anyone had a pearls of wisdom they could dispense as I’ve run out of options and ideas.

[abibby123]

Hello.  this is my first time on this site.   Your post resonated with me so much.  My adult son is smoking weed every day (which I have just given into) and has had numerous issues with alcohol.  I am constantly on edge, worried and anxious worrying what is going to happen next.  Does you son work?   I am single so deal with this on my own, and I totally understand how awful this is making you feel and what it is doing to your family.  I am constantly trying to find help for my son but unless he is willing to change there is little point.  I try to talk to him to explain that he does need help and sometimes he agrees, but most of the time just says he is fine.  I have realised now that there are so many young people with these problems and so many families looking for help.  I am just not sure if the help is there.  I find that just talking to someone helps sometimes.  I know I am being a coward by not trying to stop him smoking but at least when he does that he isn’t angry and violent (like he is when he drinks).  I am happy to chat at any time, don’t have any great words of wisdom but am happy to listen

 

[apb123]

Hello

We are in a similar position. Our adult son has a problem with alcohol and addiction.He clearly needs help but continually refuses to accept help

We did get him to rehab a few years back but he didnt like it and left after a few days. We would gladly pay for rehab again for him but he just refuses.

What is so difficult about addiction is that insight seems to go. I can see that all of his problems would be improved by stopping alcohol and substances.

I am not sure what else can be done other than try to support him, harm reduction, self care, avoid enabling etc. Hopefully he will come to a point where he accepts help.

We have thought about asking him to leave the house but hesitate because we worry about him. He has had episodes of low mood before.

Suffice to say it has completely upended our lives. It’s difficult to have anyone around the house. It is very isolating because it’s a topic you dont really want to tell people about. It has been going on for years and it is taking a toll on our health.

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