[what-do-i-do-next]

Hi to you all, im hoping for advice to help me stop ruminating and torturing myself. My 30 year old daughter has had and denied an alcohol problem for several years. When drunk she is deleiberately targeted with her vile and hurtful comments and knows that she is going to cause pain. She deflects and blames me for every thing but despite the very many times i have asked cannot give me one example of what i have done wrong. I have an endless example of how she has miss treated me but she is not prepared to listen or own her actions.

She never apologies, takes no responsibilty for the hurt and damage she is causing and will not try to build bridges with me or make things better. This if find very difficult to understand and it hurts me to my soul.

She has recently paid to go into 2 weeks rehab, this followed her putting my grandson at risk and me refusing to give him back to her. She was deseprate and drunk when she booked it and was picked up the next morning. Needless to say it was not appropraite for her need. She has not and will not talk to me so i have no clue what happened while she was away but had hoped the time away would have given her space to reflect and see how she is hurting those that love her, and try to make it better.

Im so tired of being anxious about her and it affecting my sanity, i want to block her out as hard as that sounds, it at times is the only way for me to stop my own pain about her rejection if that makes sense. I cant for 2 reasons 1 beacuse i have my grandson half the time and he has to be swapped between us (never talking or even looking at each other, a bib of the car and out he comes from either home) and 2 because i love her and so want my daughter back, but im scared of again opening myself to her yet again. Even when sober she has no interest in me.

How will this ever be fixed and if it cant be how do i come to terms with that?

Thank you for your time reading this. I will be so gratfull for any advice.

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