[lillyrose41]

Husband and I have been together for 23 years and have three children. He is self employed and I work with him sometimes also a sahm. He use to just party in Friday nights (coke). But now for the past two years it’s every other day . He has insecurities and has never trusted me . I have not once cheated on him. Everytime he is partying I feel like I am in the witness stand . He looks and combs through the house to find anything to say I’m cheating . He says why do you get defensive when I ask you and I simply imply because I am not and never will cheat and your trying to find anything you can to prove to yourself otherwise . Last weekend I went to a bachelorette party for two nights . He said go and have fun . I didn’t want to fearing the questions and him not believing anything about the trip but I went . Big mistake He was so mean and accused me of having a house party and hooking up . When nothing like that occurred . He doesn’t understand that I am at the point where I just can’t sit here and take his crap. I have been yelling and screaming and maybe acting a little crazy because he is driving me out of my mind . When he isn’t using he is the man I married the man I fell in love with. He is kind and gentle and doesn’t put me down . But when he is using he is paranoid and constantly rummaging through the house to find anything . I don’t want to leave him . I told myself when we married I would never put my kids through divorce like I had growing up . I didn’t mind the once a week thing but now it’s half the month . I just want my husband back .????????

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