[david2018]

Hey all,

So i am 28 started using coke when i was about 18 oh their where the days spend £40 do half a gram and enjoy it,

fast forward 10 years i am now doing 3-4 day binges than crashing than back on it for a couple of days,

I stayed with my mum for 3 weeks last month and didn’t touch the stuff went home and back on it,

It has got a lot worse since November when the police come knocking about my dad asking questions what he did to us their didnt belive us when we where kids but do now as he has done it to some one else we where put in to care,

When im on coke all the thoughts, truma go away and just by my self forgetting about everything,

Even mates who do coke are worried the amount im doing,

I had a business lost it 2 years ago due to the coke told my mum and family i had a problem their did try support me but i just wont listern i get back on it,

There think i have now stopped as i be disowned if their know i started taking it again,

2 years ago i was taking home £5000 a month lived in a lovey 3 bed house in a nice area 2 holidays a year now i have nothing I had to start my business back up as got to pay for the coke somehow,

I had a seizure in march due to the binges i go on i can do 3-4 days easy but i dont eat nothing i just drink alcohol and sniff in my flat,

I am on it now have been since Wednesday evening and £700 less if my mum new the amount im spending on it when shes struggling when im on it i dont care about anything but when coming down like i most likley be tomorrow i tell my self why and the good that money could of done for my family and say never again but if i reach the 2 week mark the craving are so bad i just go get a little bit but never ends that way.

I been in and out of hospital this year because of it and been told i will end up taking it one evening and die or slowly kill myself it will kill my mum but how do i stop i tried the support groups dont work is rehab worth a try, i am at a point where i dont care if i die but it will really kill my mum she dosent see my two brothers because of my abusive father

Also after losing my home due to coke i spent 2 weeks on the streets than 6 months in a hostel and was lucky to be given a brand new flat its a bloddy shit hole no flooring down no curtains up all my money goes on this, its in a lovely area since i been here the police and ambulance been here all times of the day even had my door put through by the police at 1am because i wouldnt let them in i missed court for drug driving and other offences its ruined me and my life i be surprised if the council give me full tenancy next month

Also lost a close friend in april because she took to much.

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