Hello.
Thanks for posting. It does sound like you are having a difficult time, and it’s important that you speak to someone about it and get some help.
Getting the right support can have a really positive impact, and make you feel much better.
You can speak with Childline for free on 0800 1111. Everything you say will be treated confidentially.
Or you could speak to The Icarus Trust. we are a charity that supports people who are dealing with a family member’s addiction. We offer a free service and you could talk to one of our experienced volunteers called Family friends.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps.
Best wishes.