[Lozzy80]

Hi Delilah.

I feel your pain. Addiction is so cruel, it robs the sufferer and their loved ones of so much. Hopes and dreams shattered, constant turmoil and chaos. And feeling isolated due to the fear/shame of sharing your situation with friends family.. not that we should feel any shame or guilt at all, but we get promised by our SOs not to say anything – sometimes under the threat that we will just make things worse.

I attended a few of the SMART online support meetings for friends and family (details are on the online support page of this website). I found this really supportive – listening to others going through similar – many shared stories of loved ones having got clean, then relapsing .

with your SO, there does seem to be that glimmer of hope – a whole year sober is fantastic progress,  sadly their relapse s not something in your control and its not a reflection of their love or appreciation of you. hopefully there comes a day where your SO does see sense in stopping again, they have done it before they can do it again… but only if they really want to. I know you already know this, but only they can decide this and it will be a long bumpy road ahead, do what you need to do, for your best interest is my advice.. do not feel guilty if you need to leave , do it.

Wishing you all the best whatever you decide to do

[Delilah21]

Thank you Lozzy80, I will have a look at the online support.

Sometimes its just good to get it out. It is a cruel addiction. I am really trying at the minute to do things for me and let him make his own choices as I know it has to be him that makes the changes. I’m trying to get back to my own self  and am starting the year off by starting up things that I used to really enjoy instead of sitting in the house waiting to pick up the pieces.

Thank you again for your kind words

[Author]

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