[jamesb]

If given the opportunity, what would you ask your addict partner? What would you really want the answers to? If you was promised an honest, open and complete answer, outside of the ‘tit for tat’ argumentative stuff I would be interested to know what are the main questions you would all have for your partners?

[thistim3]

Hi James.  Thanks for being here and for asking.  Hope that you are doing good.

[purpleheart]

I would ask at what exact point did the coke take over and he stop caring for me/us, our family ?. Then at least I could put a time to when the man I loved actually left me and I could put that part of our life we had to bed. The stuff that happened after that point has given me trauma , grief and no real closure , just one long nightmare that’s rolled on for years .

[kulstar]

Purpleheart – for me coke took over when I reached for it on a Monday morning and got the supplies in after the usual weekender bender. I needed a pick me up to operate at work (which was during lockdown and we were all at home). Given the weekend I had, I felt low and just thought if I could get through the usual Monday blues with a bit of help that I’d refrain from using it during the week. This was a falacy.

I became ever more reliant on it over the next 12 months to Feb 2022 (teetotal since then). Once you start to use Coke during your normal day then this is where the lines are crossed. Cocaine will numb emotion, or at least the emotion that matters as you can’t face what you’ve become. When that happened to your man, well only you I guess can piece that together?

[purpleheart]

Thanks for the reply Kulstar , that’s exactly what happened here too he became daily dependant and would pick up onroute  to work after sitting alone all weekend when we slept just secretly using  , then when he tried not to it would put him into a comatose state and barely went to work  .. eventually he switched off to us all and like you describe became numb but also calculated and hurtful  . Fast forward 5 years, everything about us abd our family fell apart and we are divorced but he’s still in denial  his use is a problem and refuses to seek help , so much has happened since he has and still is so awful to me that I can’t even talk to him about our children barely . Courts had to be involved as using when taking kids –  it’s just a car crash . I’ll never come to terms how that drug can alter a person so much so that you can’t even see the person you once loved  ,

Kulstar – I don’t even need to say this  but what an achievement for you . I’m so so glad you and your family have a happy ending – sending strength always for you all . I love to read the ones where it actually came good , makes me sad it’s so rare .

take care

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