[ash2013]

I cant reply!

[ash2013]

Keeps spinning when I reply 🙁

[ash2013]

Hi Egg04,

It seems like all the wives on this forum with husbands on cocaine could write the same story, only alternating sightly.

Sorry you are going through all this, its so draining and so unfair. It seems to me like you do love him, and you also feel like you have to stick around because you dont want to be the reason he spirals, or tries to kill himself… right? But what about you, what about what you want.

Cocaine makes users selfish beyond comprehension, and they don’t give a darn about anything apart from what they want to do.

I don’t have a magic wand, if I did, I would string up all dealers, burn all the plantations of cocaine, and get all these poor addicts back on track. It really is about how much you can take, how strong you are and if you believe he wants to get help. It sounds like you have been through an awful time. You cannot live your life like this, you are still young. His problem is not your problem. Don’t get to my age (45 with a child together) broken.

Its not for anyone to tell you what to do, but what would you tell a friend going through what you are, to do? I think then you have your answer.

You said, dinner parties, holidays, you appreciate thats not all there is to life…. but wouldnt it be nice if you had a glimpse of that. No its not all there is to life, but nor is what you’re having to go through day after day.

Sending love x

[danman83]

You are right, if he wasnt on the come he probably wont be cheating, but its one of them, u wont ever know..

Your in a crappy situation were if you leave and he does commit suicide, your obviously going to blame your self its human instinct, and i dont mean to upset you, but do you seriously think he did nothing with the prostitutes? And if he never he went to meet them for sex. Simple as. Im doing my best to stop coke im lapsing once a month and i cant stand the stuff. So i know how your husband feels and how awful the stuff is.

But my advice is.. is that you have a couple of options..you stay with him, he gets the help.. no more cheating and if he keeps relapsing your leaving.

Or your young.. do you really think is he going to change and you pack your shit now and move on and may be still support him. Your probably going to be looking over your shoulder all your life with him till the next time you get hurt.

Id personally have a good think what you want to do. Its not all about him. You need to think of yourself.

[hox]

For fourteen years I had an exciting life. We both worked, had a nice home. Have dogs. Had dinner parties on occasions for family and close friends. Went out to restaurants. Wanted a family. Had holidays, everything was an adventure and I loved my life. Husband did too before he decided to get in with the wrong crowd and ended up being arrested. This in turn turned him to drink more and take cocaine every time he went out with friends.

When you say ‘you understand that isn’t all there is to life’……. I think you are wrong, that is a normal life doing all the nice things you have mentioned.

Only you will know when enough is enough.

[Author]

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