[roundy]

Marnie, hello!

Your story is so so similar to mine. Im in the exact same position at the moment. He was 8 months sober, and it was fantastic. But now I feel like we are back to square one! It’s so difficult to deal with, isn’t it?! I just can’t get my head around it all. He was doing so well.

[mjmb]

And similar to mine. My husband was the ‘star pupil’ at rehab and came out telling me how well he’d done but within days he was drinking again. He blamed the rehab for not doing a good job! He’s never really stopped since- he has short periods when I can tell he’s not drinking but then something happens and he starts again. The wobbly you mention is always a give away…. He hasn’t admitted to himself that he still has a problem – I know for a fact he has attended more than one zoom AA meeting whilst drinking.

The advice I was given by the rehab place when I contacted them was to look after yourself and your children and to make sure you put yourself and your family first. They also told me to make sure I didn’t continue enabling his drinking and that the decisions he made were his and there was very little I could do to change things

It is the most horrible feeling when you realise that all that hope and hard work hasn’t changed things. I guess it doesn’t mean that it will never change but that depends on the person.

Take care of yourself and best wishes

[marnie]

Well he came back, it’s been a week, found an empty bottle of vodka yesterday under the wardrobe, he said it was from last week which as we’ve not had any wobble I think that’s right, he then went to the Shop for a beer today, he has lost all understanding of what an alcoholic is and is saying it’s ok he can just have one and be normal. I know it’s the alcohol which has got control of his brain again but I’m never going to believe a word he says. Is there anymore bottles hid around the house ? Absolute nightmare and won’t be getting any better ????

Think it has to be decision time tomorrow.

[afriend]

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[marnie]

So we’re a year on from my original post. I took the decision to have him back. All ok until July 21 then he goes off on a bender again. Again to the leach sister who facilitates the situation for her own ends, her addictions funded by his money. A few weeks on when the money has dried up and he’s begging to come back, again I caved. Made it clear it was the last time. 3 weeks ago he withdrew money from my account. I got a notification and rang him asking what on earth he was doing. I could tell he had been drinking, he said he had, I said well your not coming back here. Last I heard from him until yesterday. Same old at sisters, off his head, wants this and that from the house, he’s not had a change of clothes for 3 weeks. He was goading me via text but I was calm and didn’t give him the rise he was after. Eventually ignored him. A couple of hours later my 25 yr old daughter came round in floods of tears. He had been texting her saying he had feeling for her and always had and was drilling her phone with missed calls. As he never got on with her I do believe this was to get a rise out of me and her to be honest to make him the victim, as she’s hot headed like me !

After speaking to his mum it appears he left me ! Because of my secret eating apparently. I have a gastric sleeve so eat little and often. Nothing to do with the fact he can not drink at my house and it’s party central at his sisters, until the cash has gone.

I have given up what is now 4 years of my life, when sober he is intelligent, caring and a loving human being. When back on the drink and whatever he can get his hands on via his sister he is the most evil , lying, manipulative,nasty piece of work Iv ever come across.

Enough is enough, I’m out now for good. My daughters have now begged me never to have him back and I’m not going to come what may. They say I need someone who will respect me and make me happy. I know their right, but it still hurts ????

[Author]

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