[hox-26]

Hello.

Yes, a lot of us on here have been through the same thing. One thing is for sure though you didn’t stop him loving you the cocaine did. You gave him support. You did the right thing with the contact to your home which he agreed to, but he took cocaine anyway knowing the consequences. He wanted you to take care of the finances but still bought cocaine and gambled. You have done everything you could without enabling him.

They lie and manipulate and blame us for their using. But we are not to blame they destroy our lives because cocaine comes first before anything.

My heart breaks for you. My heart has never recovered, my husband hasn’t returned to the wonderful loving person he was even though he has been in prison for a year.

None of this is your fault, you tried your hardest.

[fullmoon]

Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it… as you know its a lonely place to be. For now hes back and doing very well but I know it will only last until payday…

Im sorry for what you have been through with your husband too. Theres nothing that can prepare you for this!

Anyway I just wanted to say thanks again for your words it means a lot that you went to the effort of responding. Thank you xxxxxxxx

[hox-26]

It is a lonely place to be but there are plenty of people in the same situation on here that will understand what you are going through.

Meaning though he’s back it looks like you were doing the right thing in the first place. Stay strong. xx

[musicmimi]

Bless you . My husband hates me right now as I have had to put boundaries in place . My dad died in January and I couldn’t deal with anymore . My husbands drug of choice is crystal meth .

My husband disappeared. Used . Fell apart . I fixed him up . He went back . Like you I feel everything . I’ve tried everything . He has threatened me . Hurt me and I still loved him. Like your partner he had a hard life .

2 weeks ago I had a total mental breakdown. Ended up in the hospital . But yet it’s still my fault . He has no empathy for me . I’m the problem. I’ve rejected him. I didn’t I rejected the chaos .

Losing my dad and him has been unbearable .

Like yourself I feel for him. He is constantly angry . Shouts all the time and yesterday said I’m still using drugs and I haven’t sought help like you want . I said I’m not arguing , I said I love you be safe . The no compassion or empathy for me is a hard 1 . I no longer know what to do and it hurts like hell . Like you I live in hope . I’ve never used a forum before . Stay strong x

[fullmoon]

Thanks so much Hox!

MusicMimi Im really sorry to hear about what you are going through and I can totally relate about the lack of empathy. Its difficult to understand how someone can keep doing harm keep lying keep hurting and causing pain but still feels as if they are the victim. Its as if they are completely blind to the pain and destruction they cause. Im really sorry you ended up having a breakdown. We cant rely on others to be kind to us or have empathy sadly, we have to show ourselves the kindness and care we shower on others. Its not fair and it shouldnt be that way but it is. Sending hugs x

[musicmimi]

To Fullmoon,

Thank you for your kindness , it is greatly appreciated. I totally agree with you . I’ve shed so many tears . I’ve tried to show so much love and support , but my well

Is empty . Like you , I’ve tried everything. Holding money . Talking , caring . I can’t control his behaviour . I can’t take his lies. Hating on me is easier than looking at himself . I’ve kept quiet for such a long time . I’m a MH professional, so talking about my issues has been very hard . I’m so glad I’ve spoken to someone that gets me . I’m hear if you feel like venting .

[fullmoon]

Likewise… im here anytime you need. Currently in a really lovely moment wherr hes showing me who he used to be, one week clean but I know what will happen at the end if the month once he gets paid. Its the calm before the storm because his parents have thrown him out (he went there to binge 3 weeks ago and they have now had enough) and I will also ask him to leave if the same thing happens. Its such a surreal situation with the lockdown… he cant work so i have him in front of me 24/7. There is no chance for him to lie and things are great… but I know I have accept that this isnt sustainable long term eventually he will be out of my sight and ill be a paranoid wreck again driving myself over the edge because of the lies only to be told im crazy and imagining things.

Theres no shame in talking about what you are going through, you are very brave in opening up. Dont bottle it up xxxx

[bear]

Am I the only one that finds this post so wrong. People on here talking about their problems and a link to meds without prescription???

[musicmimi]

Thank you , let’s hope the lockdown makes him see sense and you are relieved of all anxieties . X

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