[clairlp]

I completely understand. My situation with my 25 year old son is exactly the same and it is killing me. It has ruined my relationship with my partner, made me a complete nervous wreck and I live each day on edge and ill with the worry. The only respite I have had in the past 12 years is the 2 short spells my son has spent in jail. I too cannot see and end to this pain, so I really do understand what you are going through xxxxx

[4everhoping]

My son has been a heroin addict from the age of 19, he is now 37. In the early days when we were so naive my husband and I made so many mistakes when dealing with our son…mostly out of fear. Fear of what would happen if we didn’t allow him home to live,going against advice from those who knew better in the rehab place..so many mistakes I’m sure. We loved him so much and were so frightened. Sadly we can look back and realise that nothing we ever did was enough to really help him because he is still fighting his addiction now. All I can say is that despite everything we have been through with him we have done the very best we could never turning our back on him, always trying to support him the best we could. We have had to change though and stand firm over not allowing him to live with us or giving him money but there have still been many ways to show we care and support him to get well. In the end as his parents we made a conscious decision that we would do whatever we felt was right regardless of others advice. By others I mean family or well meaning friends. As we wait in hope of him having the opportunity to go into rehab again we will listen to those who really do know better but he is our son and we have to live with ourselves and if heaven forbid we should lose him then I don’t want to have on my conscience that we denied him food, or a bit of electricity for his flat or some such help or support. It is very important to us that through all the horrors we have been through with him, through his darkest times, that he knows how much he is loved.We never lose hope that he will get well and lead a normal happy and healthy life.If others can walk away that is what they should do..if they can live with that choice and get on with their life…we couldn’t walk away but you do have to get on with life regardless.I also live in hope that I will stop feeling an overwhelming sadness. Sadness for all the lost years, that our son is capable of being so much more than he is right now. He has lost and missed out on so much. In his clearer moments he is well aware of the pain and upset he has caused his family and he has so many regrets but part of us trying to support him is getting him to look forward and not back and not to burden him with guilt which wouldn’t help him at all on top of all the negative feelings he has.So rightly or wrongly we are here for him and try to put aside our sadness and all the other emotions you go through and never lose hope that he will turn his life around.Hopefully then the pain will stop.

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