[kez1976]

Can’t believe I’m writing this, I’ve been reading your stories. Well, so much support from people who know how it feels.

My husband is a heroin addict, bloody hell that’s actually the first time I’ve said that other then to myself. My close family know and I’ve not actually said those words to them. We’ve been married 21 years together 28 he’s been an addict 26 of those.

We moved from a large city to rural Wales 12 years ago and almost all of those he’s been clean, until 18 months ago when he relapsed. In that time we’ve had a few attempts of him trying to sort it but he was adamant he was doing it alone with no help from professionals, he’d used them when we moved and it worked I understand he wasn’t ready. I have stood by him and he’s what some might call high functioning, holds down a full time job, uses his own money and no trouble at the door. So this time was kept between the two of us, don’t ask me why I didn’t say anything to anyone I can only assume shame, guilt ?

We have an adult son who has two beautiful little girls, who is anti drugs. Three weeks he found out, all hell broke lose without arguments my husband left and no one stopped him. He’s cried begged for his family back. However for once we’ve stood our ground and I suppose it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I just keep thinking we’ve got two little girls to protect. My son and I spoke to him, told him how it’s made us feel over the years, I will say I’ve tried that countless times to no avail this last year, this is the first time my son has though. We expect we need someone who we can rely on yet we understand it won’t happen by magic. Trust will be a major thing because my god they can con the devil himself with their ability to promise the world and deliver nothing but what you want to hear when the need takes them.

In the last week he has referred himself to the local addiction support team. He’s promised we can go randomly with him to appointments etc so that we can build trust. We’ve only asked that he seeks help.

Not falling for his sobs and pleads is the hardest thing but I’m enjoying less drama.

I suppose I’m looking at ways to support him without him mistakenly taking that as weakness.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Kez,

Thanks for sharing your story and how tough it has been for you. Well done for what you are doing in supporting your husband. If you or your son would like some support for yourselves please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support to the families around those with addiction problems. We have Family Friends who are trained and experienced and they would listen and maybe help answer some of your questions. They can also tell you what other support is available to you.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck with everything.

[Author]

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