[unsure2021]

Other half told me he was busy today so not to go over, he has been sitting with his girl best mate all day sniffing coke, so only hear from him when I text him but he sniffs till he physically struggles to talk , I feel like the boring one cos I don’t sit blast tunes sniffing whereas she does ,hurt he would rather spend day with her getting high than be with me , rhey have been best mates for a long time not worried about anything happening between them ,just feel he must think she more fun and I’m rhe boring gf who takes care her kids cleans her house goes to work and live a mundane life

[redfox20]

Hi firstly you are not boring you are sensible as messing with cocaine only ends badly loosing everything or your life. He sounds like he has a bad addiction and you would be better of without him if you ask me as you sound like a lovely hardworking person. She isn’t fun she clearly has her issues to be sat around all day not working and sniffing cocaine, I mean that isn’t normal. Most people do cocaine as they are trying to numb trauma or escape normal life or damage they have caused to others i don’t envy them one bit, and neither should you, your much better off with your mundane life thats happy & healthy.

[unsure2021]

I know i should let him go because im never going to come first he is too far gone and the coke will always come first at first I blamed her but deep down I know its him , I’m meant to be staying with him this weekend but tomorrow will come he will be ill then Saturday he will be moody and pissed off and do everything for an argument so he doesn’t have to come and get me , I don’t know why I can’t seem to just cut him off and get on with my own life

[redfox20]

It’s so tough, it’s taken me a long time to detach myself you have to for yourself it will only get worse so many people on here told me this when I did my first post on here i didn’t believe them no not him it has indeed got worse. They will always put that first as they are not thinking straight they are only focused on one thing & it turns them into selfish monsters. How does it make you feel mentally? When you’ve really had enough you will know & you will you be able to cut him off but honestly you will only go round and round in circles with him and you will get hurt every time while he’s off he’s head sad but true.

[unsure2021]

My mental health is really bad I worry qhen he is on it because he will sit and sniff continuously till he can’t even function talk or walk and he has really bad medical conditions so I sit and worry all night, the days after he is ill and gives me dogs abuse but plays it out as banter, I’m watching him spiral, I love him but I know it’s not going to get better I just can’t seem to break away

[redfox20]

It’s never ending the worry isn’t it, you think of them all day long, i totally understand. If it’s affecting you’re mental health or causing you anxiety and he’s spiralling down he will only drag you down with him. He is the only person who can change he won’t do it for you only himself. I mean you walking away may be a wake up call but don’t count on it. You will feel terrible at first cutting him off if that’s what you want to do you will worry get anxiety grieve even it’s all normal but you will get stronger you will never accept it but you will come to terms with it. Distance really helps even though it’s the opposite of what you want or think you should do. I’m not sure if you have children with him, i have 3 with my ex. If I didn’t I would of walked away from the beginning and cut him off completely and moved on with my life and let him help himself you could always leave the door open if you really love him but if not your best to walk away, you can control what you choose to do in this situation and you must put must always put yourself first.

[unsure2021]

We don’t have kids together, which is a big positive , the heath issues he has are life threatening and he could die tomorrow, next week, month or year if his body shuts down completely which just makes me worry even more, I do have my own kids tho and I have worked very hard bringing them up and recently past 2 years to be in a job I love and the hard work is slowly paying off I know I need to put myself first to be able to keep going and enjoy it , also an unhappy mummy isn’t what I want for my kids, thank you for the chat as I have no one else I can talk to .

[redfox20]

That’s a good thing you don’t have children together the less ties the easier to detach, even though I know you love him it’s still hard. He maybe be using due to he’s health conditions as he’s worried but won’t wake up and realise he’s killing himself abusing cocaine the way he is. Well done for holding things down at home and working too, this situation can break even the strongest person. You can be there for your kids but you can’t switch your mind off I know exactly how it is but they will pick up when you’re stressed, I know my moods are very up and down depending on how things were with their father so detaching as improved my mental health definitely even though my heart is aching. It will heal and you will feel better, and that’s okay anytime you want to message i will get back i check in here daily, as it helps especially when you question everything and what you should shouldn’t do but realistically there isn’t anything you can do, that’s hes responsibility never feel guilty. X

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