[lemonysnicket]

Hi Kirst101

I’m sorry no one has replied. It takes a lot of courage to post here and especially when you’ve no support in real life. I don’t think that there is anything you can do if I am honest. I tried with my husband for six years. I kept the secret from my parents and his. Several friends and my sister and BIL knew, but because they were as ignorant as I was about how cocaine works, they didn’t/couldn’t help. In my case, things were quiet for months and sometimes years. I’d find evidence of using but the lies were so convincing and the consequences of taking action so great that I lived in denial because it was easier. Denial doesn’t actually cover it because usually there wasn’t much evidence to go on, just the odd bag or strange text that I’d glimpse, or him nipping out abruptly, or sometimes going out “to the shop” very late at night.

In the end he let his debts build up secretly to the point where his company was wound up and we’ve had to sell the house to pay his debts. He let me find out when the court summons came through the door and I knew I had to make the chaos stop. 18 months later, and very reluctantly I’ve divorced him. In the time we’ve been apart he’s improved so much. He had some dark times. He’s had to move back in with his parents. But he has a great job which he loves, and lockdown has helped him a lot. He seems ok now. Change is possible I think but I’m not so sure it can happen with us by their side.

[Author]

Posts