[Narlem2023]

Hello.

I hope everyone is well. I’m just looking for some wisdom or reassurance that I’m not doing the wrong thing. I have been with my partner for 7 years – we were due to get married in September. We’ve had a Rocky few years with infertility but we were gearing up for a second round of IVF this year. My partner had always been a big drinker we met when we were 21/24 so it was always a part of our socialisation. However in November last year i found 14 bottles of spirits hidden and that’s when it became apparent that my partner had an issue. He said it was just a one off as he was struggling however due to withdrawal seizures he was hospitalised for detox.  In February unfortunately the same thing happened again and he stopped breathing due to 6 seizures back to back… at this point he admitted he was an alcoholic and entered a detox, AA and weekly support meetings. He was sober for 3 months but relapsed last week, I hit breaking point and made the decision that our wedding could not go ahead. Due to his risk of DT’s if he relapsed again he has been advised to go to rehab. Our whole life has come crashing down, he is the most beautiful person and partner but the thought of him hurting me through relapse again is too hard to think about. I have ended the relationship in hope that he will focus on managing this illness for himself but it has broken my heart as I didn’t want the relationship to end. But I know if I carried on he would only be doing it for me, which isn’t enough…have I done the right thing? Or drove him into an even worse position?

[CharlieSnifferOfficial]

Why cant he give up?

Simply because its everywhere around him, junkies are given the wrong stereotype, the worst ones I’ve ever met are all working and have good jobs.

The only way i could ever give up coke and never go back is to move away and start a fresh, very few people can do this as they don’t have the cash to do so.

Ive lost a kidney to it, my liver doesn’t function properly, other health issues are starting to appear too, and im still on the gear… all the time its there and ive got money i cant say no.

You might want to research cocaethylene , coke and alcohol mixed create it and its lethal.

[paw_x]

Charlie – you’re making excuses for yourself here. People can recover. Yes you probably can’t spend all weekend getting drunk and on the gear with your pals anymore, you need a new circle, and that’s what CA meetings are for. People can recover but you do need to leave behind your drug friends for new sober ones.

Pops – it’s really hard to understand what goes through their heads. And being on cocaine long term does not help their mental health either. He needs to want to recover for himself and you need to look after you. He should be at CA meetings, getting himself a sponsor, and making a real attempt at recovery. If he doesn’t you need to take steps to protect you and your kids as it only gets worse and this is your life too. I know it’s so hard when you know the amazing person they were before all this.

Narlem – don’t be hard on yourself for ending it when it all got too much. I did too. Sometimes I think that’s the only way for them to realise what they’ve done. I tried to support my partner for a year after his slip/relapse and it turned out he was using the whole time. The only point he actually went to CA and sorted himself was after I kicked him out. There might be something to be said about letting them hit their rock bottom. The hurt is horrendous, and mines has even attempted suicide, but I didn’t do this to us, he did. It’s up to him to fix this and there is help out there. Look after yourself as it really does take it’s toll on you x

[Author]

Posts