[freddie]

Hi there,

My fiance and I have been on a health kick following his diagnosis of gout, as a result of his drinking.

I was so proud of him, he managed to ditch beer completely and moved to watering down his wine. After 20 years of drinking everything, every night.

Back to the doctors for a checkup and they threw him in an ambulance with rapid heartbeat and a high pulse. I was gobsmacked, we’d been at it for over a month. I figured any withdrawal was well and truly over now. Apparently not.

He’d always had an anxiety disorder which over the years, had gradually increased in intensity. The isolation for weeks on end as a result of him not being able to walk with the gout, the stress of the pain and removing the alcohol which masked it, hit full throttle.

Long story short, he’s now at home pretty heavily sedated. On top of my full time job, I’m now a full time carer, exhausted by endless panic attacks at all times of night and the need to do absolutely everything for him.

I feel terribly guilty being so drained and quite obviously depressed. I can’t talk to him about it and I’m scared how I’m meant to go on paying the bills without him at work.

He’s completely weak, it took him 8 days to be well enough to shower himself. I just feel that our life and our relationship, is at breaking point.

Anyone been through something similar?

[worriorbutterfly]

Hey, how are things now?

[icarus-trust]

Hi Freddie,

I’m sorry to read your post and to hear how badly your fiance’s situation is affecting you. It’s sad that you are feeling guilty as what you are dealing with is very hard.

I wonder if you are able to get any help for yourself as you are obviously exhausted by the caring and the worry. May be you could talk things through with your GP.

Also perhaps you would like to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support to people who are living with the impact of a loved one’s addiction. May be it would help you to talk with one of our experienced trained volunteers.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you can get some help for yourself.

All the best.

[bairdy]

I stay with my mum n dad & have a girlfriend of 4-5 years but my parents don’t like her av started recovering as do has my girl I stay in darvel Ayrshire so is there anywhere I can stay with her & help the comma please

[aallan]

Hi Freddie, don’t kid your self. This is a heavy addiction and not something you can deal with. Choose loving detachment and tell him he is a grown man who can choose what’s good for him. Until then you look after yourself as it is all you have.. trust me on this…..

[Author]

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