Hi Chanel
It sounds as if you could do with someone to talk to who would understand how you are feeling. The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports the friends and family of addicts because we know how difficult it is. We have experienced trained volunteers who you could talk to which might help you to make sense of what is happening and help you to find a way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps. Good luck.