I have all those problems and all those same feelings too. I have been married to 30 years to a functional alcoholic. It doesn’t get any easier tho I have some coping mechanisms such as gym, friendships and get away for breaks. I did almost leave but have a now older child to consider and didn’t want to rock his world. He did actually get the drinking under control for 4 happy years but then came Covid……Personally I would be considering my options.