[ab17]

Some of his mates do sell it yes and I know he can get it very easy from multiple people which is quite sad how easy it is for him to get it.

It’s hard because in my view these aren’t friends as friends are someone who look out for you and want the best for you not to push drugs on you when you clearly have a problem but to him in his eyes these people are his friends. I don’t know how aware they are of him having a problem, part of me feels like I should reach out to some of them and express how bad he is incase they aren’t aware but I feel like that would cause conflict between me and my boyfriend. I’ve never been on friendly terms with any of them but do know some of them through him but personally never spent any time with them. These aren’t friends who have a relationship with him outside of drinking and coke which I am obviously not part of.

I think you are right I think he feels shit a lot of the time, I can see him playing with our daughter sometimes and see the real him if that makes sense and other times he can’t be bothered to get up off the sofa to play with her and I can see the affect of the drug and don’t recognise him.

I know it isn’t going to be an easy road and some time I do feel like it may be easier to cut my loses and move on but I’ve invested 15 years of my life to him and if he left the only place he would go would be to one of his friends sofas. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He’s handed over his online bank details to me this week and turned on location services on his phone so I’m hoping these are steps forward for us.

Good luck on your recovery it sounds like you are trying really hard to be strong and thanks for the support and advice.

[ab17]

He is 27.

He does work, but as far as I am aware everyone around him is doing it which really doesn’t help the situation. He will go after work and do it at a friends. He has before disappeared on a Friday straight from work and not come back until Saturday or Sunday. I am trying to get him to talk more and but it’s also hard for me not to have ago at him when he finally tells me the truth as some of what he tells me hits a nerve so I am trying to be as reasonably as I can as I appreciate me nagging isn’t going to help either. We do live together but the problem is if he wants to go out and do it he will go from work so I don’t have that initial opportunity to take his keys or phone.

I am the only person he is talking to about his addiction at present except his doctor. He’s isolated himself from his whole family by just not making an effort over the years with maintaining a relationship with them even though I do and all of his friends use drugs unfortunately.

I am trying my hardest to be his support system and encourage him to do other things. I passed on your advice above so hopefully that helps him also. Thanks 🙂

[ab17]

Thanks for all of the advice really appreciate it.

He is using every other day, it’s at the stage where it doesn’t need to be with alcohol or with anyone else he just needs his fix.

He isn’t good at talking to anyone I am trying to get him to be honest with me as there have been lots of lies to cover the addiction. I can tell he’s trying and appreciate him being honest even if it’s hard to hear he’s using and how frequently. I definitely think he needs to be more proactive so will suggest everything you’ve said to him.

[ab17]

Hi Deedee, I know how you feel. My boyfriend has been addicted for many years although I naively was not aware until about a year ago. I too feel like I’ve had to be so strong to the point where I don’t think I even let myself feel my own feelings anymore. The pain used to kill me when he disappeared I would be up all night trying to ring him and text him, now I just go to bed early to stop the pain. It’s getting to the stage where I wish I was with someone who looked out for me and had my back as much as I’ve had his. I also feel the same, if my boyfriend was not to live at my house he has nowhere to go so would end up at a friends taking cocaine even more I am sure. If you need someone to talk to I would be happy to listen. My boyfriend has said over and over again he will stop so I agree wanting to stop and being ready to stop are very very different, it’s positive he has stopped drinking if that’s something that goes hand in hand with taking cocaine. Sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he steps up and takes care of you and supports you like you need right now x

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