[adamuk]

Same here man I feel ur pain. It doesn’t matter what anybody says. U won’t stop until u stop. Wanting and doing are 2 different things

[adamuk]

Fun stope for me a long time ago. I need it know just to feel normal otherwise I can’t stop Sleeping. I never knew so many people in the same boat. I’m a good father and financially provide for my family but always looking to escape into my bubble for a couple of hours. No fun at all just like I have to. My savings are nearly gone. I love my kids if they won’t here I’d be gone.

[adamuk]

Why do u hate him. Did he provide for you. Was he a good dad. I’m in a Similar position. It’s driving me mad but I can’t stop. It’s like illness. You don’t want to be that person but it’s like your 2 people in one. It’s not just easy to stop people use to control depression but it has the opposite effect

[adamuk]

Nothing works. No will power. It’s got this hold on me. First 2 lines just to feel normal then down hill from there. A g or 2 a day. Then 2/3 days in bed. Then repeat. I don’t know on a come down Know. Please someone out there who’s been in a similar position of long term daily abuse how they stoped

[adamuk]

When your high you don’t want to talk to anybody that you know because they can tell you are high. He is most likely watching porn lol !

Dopamine is a chemical in the brain. Google cocaine and brain chemical changes.

[adamuk]

Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you been through. He hid it well. My other half didn’t have a clue either.

1). Do you want to be friends. If yes that it should not be an issue. Don’t lock him out of your life. You have to remember whatever people say this is a illness not everybody understands.

2)this is a tricky one because you never know. I have given up for times but have started again. But I do know people who have stoped. But to be honest know he is not living with you he will more than likely be doing coke more than he was before.

3). This is an easy one. All the nasty things he said to you are directly related to him doing coke. It makes you mean and nasty and uncaring. It’s like it makes your heart turn to stone.

4) the weed addiction does play some part but to be honest weed doesn’t change you like you have described.

I’ve been there where your husband is. I lost my family for about 1 year because I would be in a rage. I’d hate everyone. I was a horrible person. I’m still addicted to coke and back with my partner but know I’m not nasty to them as I know what it felt like to lose them. I’m grumpy and moody some times but I never loose myself like that again. It’s hard but if you want to be with him don’t argue with him about the drugs and don’t menetion them. Nothing works. He will only stop when he can

[adamuk]

Yeh I know exactly where you are coming from. You have a feeling of worthlessness! A overwhelming feeling of emotional drama. My emotional state is all over the show at times. Another thing you probably know is that a coke head is always looking for good coke. Lol and mostly the quality is always rubbish but that hope that it will be good and clean and give you that original buzz is tempting. I’ll delete all the numbers then be going through my itemised phone bill looking for numbers. I’m gona take some of your advice and look at the site and apps. Thanks man I appreciate your advice. People think it ain’t herion or crack but only someone who does it understands the krazy hold this drug can have on someone

[adamuk]

Hey, you have to be patient. Speak to him when he’s sober. More people than not will never quit. If he’s having it here and there it’s not an issue. I used to be the same but if you carry on then here and there turns out to be all the time. Try mindfulness or if he is religious try praying. I’ve found through my research that people who are addicted are not happy with something on their lives. I used to be shy and it gave me confidence. We as humans are made to connect with other people we are social when we can’t sussfully connect with other People we connect with drugs. The more you argue with him or threaten to leave him it will have the opposite effect. No one stops until they really want to. Support him love him. It’s hard. Also look in the net for something called gabba and natural foods to increase dopamine in the brain. It is a life long battle ! Have to fight it everyday. I am trying and that’s why I joined this forum talking really helps try the charity mind and counclling !

[adamuk]

I’ve given up for periods of up to 2 months at a time in the last 7 years. That’s the most. You then think you are ok and before you know it you are back to square one. I had a good business and lost it. Not due to my habit but external factors. People think pull yourself together but prolonged use changes the chemicals in your brain. I’ve cut down massively. I would disappear for 2/3 days on binges. I’ve given my finances over to my other half. This has helped hughly in regards to consumption. Down to £40 every other day. Every time I always say this is it then next time it’s the same sh*t all over again. I have lost contact with all my mates and turned into a loner. I’m thinking of going to CA that is my next step. I don’t want to be this person I wish I never touched this stuff

[adamuk]

Hey dan,

Say about 6pm. I’ll banga g in about an hour and a half. Then go home. As I’m normalish. It makes me feel normal. But next day is spent more or less in bed. I can’t be bothered to do anything g. 21 days clean is massive. How did u get out of the circle

[adamuk]

It’s true. When your on coke there is no logical planning at all. It’s all about the moment. To be honest he was just high and looking to flirt with somebody.

I’m going to tell you something. Threats to a Coke head do not work. It has the opp effect. Best thing to do is leave him to it and let him work through his problems

[adamuk]

That’s exactly what happens. You love everyone around you deeply and you know that you are hurting them and you want to push them away. The only person you hate is yourself. This drug is krazy. It changes people. But remember he is still in there and believe it or not he wants to change just does not know how. I’m stuck in the same vicious circle for the last 7 10 years. I feel like I’m missing something in my life but I don’t know what

[adamuk]

What happens is that a person becomes more selfish and what Eli’s happens is that sometimes you feel that a veil has been lifted from your ways and you are seeing things in a. Know clearer light. You don’t take no shot from people. If you feel like you have been putting more into the relationship you stop trying if the other person argues with you all the time. It’s like you think f*ck everything you care less. Makes your spirit meaner. He is doing more than you think ! Have a frank conversation with him without beatring around the bush and get to the point he will tell you his reasons and listen to them. As as his consumption insreaees hebwill get worse and his view will get more destrorted and he will retreat into a shell thinking everyone is against him

[adamuk]

No I dont drink I used to. My problem has always been coke. I used to be an anxious person. Maybe with low self esteem. Coke gave me an edge made me think yeh I’m the man. Made me more confident ! But it’s all fake. It slowly started eating away at me. When you start todo it to feel normal then it’s a problem. I have hit real lows in terms of my private lives and have pulled it together long enough to get on my feet but then it all starts again. I think it feels exciting feels like an escape from the norms of life like you float away in this bubble for a while and forgot about all your issues. But when you start doing it everyday then it’s not fun anymore. It becomes a chore. A box to tick. I’ll do a gram which is about a p.4 in about 6 lines. Then smoke about 2/3 joints. Then I’m ok. Sometimes I’ll get 2. At £40 a g I’m spending on average £250 a week. When I sit down and think about it it’s mad! I don’t know what todo !!! I’m drowning

[adamuk]

He is not addicted so stop it! I’m on it every day nearly that’s addiction.

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